How To Use The ATM: Another Guide For Morons

In this day and age of technology, most banking is done electronically. Checks are deposited directly into accounts, transfers are done on-line, and getting cash from the bank does not involve waiting on a line that serpentines through velvet ropes.
The simple and easy way to withdraw cash is through the automated teller machine (or ATM for short)...at least I thought it was simple. But apparently others find this machine confusing. Never mind the fact that they use the machine several times each week. Repetition has had no effect on the learning curve of these mental midgets.
I hate waiting to use the ATM while behind someone that has to read every detail on the screen and carefully weigh the options. The ATM is not going to have you sign a binding contract nor will it quiz you on quantum physics. There are really only two options: take money out or put money in. The latter option is probably used less than ten percent of the time. That leaves only one option. The ATM is not difficult, and every single one works the same.
The ATM first asks which language should be displayed on the screen. Now for me, this choice is fairly simple. The choice is simple because I know which language I speak. Others apparently do not. I'd like to give some of them the benefit of the doubt, and claim that they are multilingual and deciding which language needs reinforcing. But given the "swiftness" with which they breeze through the other options, slow mental functioning seems to be the more likely explanation.
The machine then wants to know if you will be depositing or withdrawing (ok, checking the balance is also there). This should not take any time to decide. The fact is this-- the person went to the ATM with intent. That intent was to withdraw or deposit (or check the balance). The decision is already made. Now push the button! Or maybe withdraw and deposit are big words that have to be figured out. Perhaps the machines should be more Neanderthal friendly with options like "Me put money in" or "Me take money out."
From this point there are only two more steps: choose and account (i.e. checking or savings) and decide how much to withdraw or deposit. For those that haven't figured it out, the checking account is the one that comes with checks. The savings account is used to save money. Once that decision is made, the amount of money is basically the final choice. That shouldn't take a long time. If you want $100.00 then choose the option that says $100.00. If the amount you want is not displayed, type it in. It is that simple.
I stated that the amount was "basically" the final choice. That is because there is the final option to get a receipt. It is a simple yes or no question and not a life altering decision. If you can't decide, just take the thing and go. You can always throw it out later.
Now that you know the basic steps, hopefully your next trip to the ATM will be more successful. And hopefully it won't take 10 to 15 minutes. I'm tired of waiting.