How To Discipline Children: Throw Out the Time Out

Almost everything in this world seems to be susceptible to trends, fads and fashions. From the type of clothes we wear to the types of food we eat to drinking a simple cup of coffee, all things follow trends (even if we as individuals do not).
There used to be only two basic ways to discipline a child that misbehaves: punishment or spanking. These two time-tested methods have worked for hundreds of years. But now for more than a decade, a new trend has developed in child rearing. I am of course speaking of the "time out." The time out is a method whereby the child cannot do anything for a period of a few minutes. This is similar to being punished, but obviously much less severe. But why should I rant about that? Am I some type of sadist that feels the need to increase a child's punishment? Certainly not. There is one huge problem with the time out: it doesn't work.
Children are more out of control than they used to be. The reason seems simple to me. They know they can get away with it. Although the implementation of the time out and the bad behaviour of children is merely a correlation, the cause appears obvious to me despite the lack of proof. Due to the lack of control parents have today, children now decide what show the family will watch, when to go to bed, and pretty much run the lives of their parents. To me this is absurd.
Children need to be punished and need to be spanked. This is something that works, and has even evolved in the wild. When a young dolphin strays too far from its mother, the mother uses her nose and delivers short bursts of ultrasonic waves into the child. This creates slight pain and discomfort for the young dolphin, and it learns to not swim away from its mother.
The reason that the time out was invented is due to issues of child abuse. I do not condone child abuse, and I acknowledge it as a problem. But anyone with just a shred of common sense should be able to tell the difference between a minor spanking and beating the living hell out of a kid. Those that say it is all the same are morons and cannot be taken seriously.
Of course it would be great if no one ever had to lay a hand on his or her child. But the great experiment of no hitting has failed. You cannot reason with a child in the same manner that you reason with an adult. When a two or three year old reaches to touch a hot stove, that child must be slapped on the wrist and told "No!" A slap on the wrist is not child abuse regardless of what anyone says to the contrary. Some parents may take the child aside and give the child a time out for two minutes while explaining the dangers of hot stoves. They will most likely be bringing their child to the emergency room in the near future.
So know the difference between child abuse and a spanking. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. A parent should be the one that gives orders to the child, not the other way around. Let us eliminate this ineffective time out, and as a favour to everyone control your children!