On Fake Pockets

Fashion, the prevailing style of dress, is a topic that never fades. The actual styles and trends may change, but the issue of fashion remains a key article in magazines year-round. I am someone that dresses for comfort rather than style. But as long as you don't complain about my jeans and T-shirt, I won't care that you just spent an exorbitant amount of money on an ugly brown bag.
Despite my comfort policy, I can admit that sometimes it is nice to dress up. This can never be an everyday occurrence for me. I need to feel relaxed, and that is simply not possible when wearing a suit. On the few occasions when I conform to fashion, the same scenario seems to repeat itself. I shave against to grain to look my best, I shower, and I put on a nice tux or suit to head to some event. So far everything is fine.
Then I go to place an item in my pocket (the item itself is irrelevant). For a brief moment I am in a state of confusion as the pocket remains unopened. Then it dawns on me. The pocket is not real. It was placed on the suit to give it a special "look." This is one of the most retarded things ever. As the taylor is sewing a suit, a piece of fabric suitable for a pocket is obtained. This is then sewn on, not as a pocket, but as a patch. What the hell is the point of that?
Now I am aware that on some suits, the pockets are sewn shut. I suppose this prevents shoppers from filling the pockets with anything undesirable (I will not speculate as to what this might be). In these cases, scissors are used to remove the superfluous stitching and open the pocket. Of course this takes time and causes some inconvenience. But, nevertheless, the pocket can be used. The story changes when the pocket cannot be opened at all. When the pocket is merely an illusion, I get pissed off.
Utilitarianism is the belief that the value of a thing or action is determined by its utility. Although I don't quite believe that myself, I like the way these fake pockets are classified under such a philosophy. According to utilitarianism, these fake pockets are more useless than a pile of dung. At least the fecal matter can be used to make fertilizer.
So why the fake pockets? A fashion expert may say that the suit would look silly without anything in front. This might be true, but it is no explanation. A real pocket can be made to look exactly the same. I'd like to meet the person that came up with the idea of a pocket "just for show." That way I could punch him in the nose.
I have a wallet, keys, a phone, and other things. If I'm going out I need to put them somewhere. Am I supposed to go somewhere wearing a suit and a fanny pack? Hell, I wouldn't wear one of those things if it was the hottest trend around. So where am I supposed to put everything? In my pockets! But if the pockets are only an illusion, then I can't use them. It is time for these manufacturers to stop with these pocket-resembling patches. Give me real pockets!