The Weekly Rant with Gary Patella

Thoughts and ideas on various grievances that are relevant to everyday life.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

How To Walk Through A Door: Another Guide For Morons

The door dates as far back as any form of architecture. Even the most primitive of housing structures had to contain some way to enter and exit. When using the more simplistic definition, a door can simply mean a passage into a structure. In this sense, the door has existed before Homo sapiens. Despite the eons granted for our species to familiarize itself with doorways, many have fallen short of mastering this architectural necessity.

Oftentimes, as I approach a doorway behind someone else, I notice a strange hesitancy on the other's part. Before passing through the door, there is a slight pause. I'm really not sure what can cause this. Is there a moment of contemplation taking place? Is the person wondering if this is really the way through? I don't get it. It's called a door. You walk through it. I promise it won't hurt you!

Others seem to pause immediately after passing through. What is going on here? Is the person astonished that they are magically inside or in a different room? We know that when passing through a slit, there will be some diffraction that occurs on the quantum level. Perhaps these people are so highly sensitive that they can feel the slight diffraction that has taken place, and therefore must take pause. Then again, a person that sensitive would probably be unable to move.

Furthermore, the pause is not always a slight one. Sometimes an entire group will pass through a door and come to a complete stop, impeding all pedestrian traffic to follow. These oxygen thieves should just be killed for the sake of everyone that isn't a complete moron. If you are really so taken aback by passing through a doorway, at least have the composure to move a few feet through before stopping. That way others can continue to use the same passage.

So the next time you encounter a doorway, go right through. There is no complex thinking involved here. It will take you either into another room, from outside to inside, or vice versa. Do not be surprised at this. And if you do pass through a door and come to a complete stop, just hope that I'm not behind you. Because I'm on the verge of knocking someone down!


At 8:17 AM , Blogger Blazn420 said...

I have to say when I myself walk into a structure I have a tendency to look all around and above me. I'm not sure why I do it, I also look at every piece of food before I put it in my mouth. Maybe it's some left over survival paranoia instinct from the days when our less evolved ancestors were not at the top of the food chain.

At 12:40 PM , Blogger Carlos said...

The moment of hesitation is really just a way to figure out if you push or pull. I have had the unfortunate experience of slamming into a door that is pull when i pushed. At least that's what I tell myself. Oh and checkmate if that means anything to you :P


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