On Fire Drills

From the time we first attend school, we all become acquainted with the fire drill. Everyone is told to line up and leave the building in an orderly fashion. In school the concept is fairly simple: in the event of a real fire, just run everything like a drill. By doing it that way the students will supposedly leave calmly and, in some cases, not know that there is an actual fire. Of course in practice things are never quite so simple. In every anecdote I've heard about a school fire, I was told that all of the students knew it was for real.

Nevertheless, there may at least be some shred of logic when it comes to school fire drills. After all, the children that are in kindergarten or the first grade may need some practice lining up. Kids can be wild at that age. Lining up and following the teacher outside is a behavior that may need to be reinforced. But after a certain age these fire drills become rather pointless. Even the older students of an elementary school are far too advanced for such nonsense.

Despite the age of the students, fire drills continue throughout the years. Even high schools conduct fire drills (a point and age at which it becomes absurd). Of course certain fire codes require these drills by law. But maybe the law needs to be changed. After all, this law does not only affect students.

Fully grown adults are actually required to participate in fire drills at work. This is so completely retarded that there are no words sufficient enough to describe it. About once a year all of these fully grown adults are told to leave the building for a fire drill. It happens to people in almost every industry. Everyone must stop working, put his or her coat on, and walk outside with everyone else. All of the employees then meet at some designated location, stand around like schmucks for fifteen minutes, and reenter the building. It is truly moronic.

Adults have absolutely no need for fire drills. People may be stupid, but even the majority of the hopelessly dumb should be able to leave a building. No practice is required. The law that requires such fire drills can probably go on a list of the top 100 dumbest laws. Adult fire drills are pointless. Fire drills for any individual with an age containing two digits is pointless. This useless exercise should be eliminated along with the useless fire code. If someone doesn't know how to leave a burning building due to lack of practice, chances are that said individual won't be missed.