The Weekly Rant with Gary Patella

Thoughts and ideas on various grievances that are relevant to everyday life.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On Buffets

Over the years, I've noticed a trend when it comes to food. The quality just seems to get lower and lower. Of course it is possible that I have simply refined my palate, and therefore dislike more and more foods, but I don't think this is the case. Food nowadays does really seem worse than food years ago. At times, I can truly sympathize with Kafka's hunger artist, that claims at the end of the story that he never found a food that he liked.

Going hand in hand with this decline, many places have all started serving the same low-quality food. And it is all served in a buffet style. Buffets may seem like a good concept at first-- every person gets to put the food that he or she wants on the plate, and gets to leave off the unwanted items. But problems crop up when this method is used.

First off, because of the manner in which the food is served (i.e. self service), the food has to be cooked in bulk. Large quantities of each dish must be prepared to go into giant trays. By cooking so much at once, there is little to no care that goes into the dish, and consequently the flavour winds up lacking to say the least.

So we are already starting off with crappy food. Now add to that the fact that people are disgusting and inconsiderate animals, and we have another problem. The sanitary quality of the food at a buffet is sure to decline in proportion to the amount of people. People most certainly will use their hands for certain items (e.g. rolls), talk with "spray", or sneeze over the food while serving themselves. So now we have a big gross out factor as well.

But even assuming that everyone at the buffet is hygienic, and keeps the area sanitary, we still have the problem of stupidity. Each item in a buffet has a separate serving spoon or pair of tongs. But people are often so retarded, that they forget where these items go seconds after they use them. So now we have peas mixed in with corn, corn mixed in with mashed potatoes, salad pieces on the meat tray, etc. People are simply too incompetent to ever get it right.

In summary, there are too many buffets and they need to be stopped. The food is often terrible. The people are disgusting and stupid, and have shown time and time again that they are completely incapable of serving themselves. The only time I ever find a buffet even remotely acceptable is for breakfast, and that is only because the mountain of bacon I take somewhat compensates for the downfalls. But buffets for lunch or dinner are out of the question.

The popularity of the buffet has always baffled me. From any culinary perspective, they downright suck! Stop going to buffets and start eating some quality food. The trend needs to end.


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