It Was There When You Moved In!

Most people maintain a residence at a particular place. Of course, certain exceptions exist (vagabonds, the homeless). But almost everyone has a particular place that he or she calls home. Whether the domicile is an apartment or a house, the person had to make some decision to live there. Depending on financial circumstances, neighborhood safety, or possible roommates, the choices may be limited. Nevertheless, there is always some choice and a decision was made.

Sometimes the choice of residence is accompanied by annoyances hitherto unknown. Noisy neighbors, infestations, leaks, or needed repairs are all legitimate complaints. Such complaints should be addressed and resolved. However, there are other complaints that I believe should be dismissed. These complaints involve a pre-existing condition or structure. A person fully aware of nearby establishments should have no right to complain to anyone about such things.

When a person decides to buy a house right next to the airport, that person should expect the noise of the jets to be a problem. When this same person complains to others about the noise, he or she shows that there is no limit to human stupidity. The same can be said about a person that takes an apartment above a night club. People that move into such a place and complain about the noise are either insane or fools (probably a combination of the two). Those living next door to a bar with an outdoor area create a similar analogy. People will gather outside, drink, and talk. Expect it!

Finally, there are those that moved next to a correctional facility. Some of these residents complained to such an extent that the story was placed in the papers. So-called luxury apartments were constructed right across the street from a correctional facility. People moved in and then complained about the buses across the street filled with prisoners. They even tried to have the facilities closed down. People this dumb do not deserve to live.

So if you decide to move next to an airport, above a bar or club, or near some sort of prison, be aware of the consequences. And if you are aware of the ramifications and still feel like complaining, then take my suggestion. Instead of complaining, just kill yourself. You will be doing humanity a favour.

How To Flush A Toilet: Another Guide For Morons

The toilet has been around for approximately 5,000 years. Toilets were used by the ancient Indus Valley civilization at Mohenjo-Daro. They were also present in ancient Roman bath houses, as well as the living quarters of ancient Egyptian pharaohs. Someone researching the subject could find that they were present in many areas of the world, and have been around for a long time.

Over the years, improvements have been made. Nowadays, most toilets have the same basic design. A flush lever pulls on a chain, which in turn pulls up a flush valve. This uncovers the discharge hole at the bottom of the tank, allowing water to quickly flow into the bowl. At the same time a vacuum effect is created in the bowl, causing everything in that bowl to get sucked down. The water will empty from the bowl swirling counterclockwise (in the northern hemisphere) and taking any other contents along with it. This action being done, The flush valve reseals the discharge hole and the tank can fill once more.

Fortunately, knowing the inner workings of a toilet is not necessary for its operation. The user does not need to know a thing about the two different types of flush valves, the differences in potential and kinetic energy, or fluid dynamics. The way the water swirls is also irrelevant (particularly because it is more influenced by toilet design than the Coriolis effect). All the user needs to know is this: when finished, push the flush lever.

This action seems like a simple enough task, yet there are many that can't figure it out. Far too often do I enter a restroom to find that the previous user has not flushed. Maybe I can understand in some disgusting public restroom. The person may have felt that avoiding contact with a urine-soaked handle was in his best interest. But such occurrences also take place in the cleanest of bathrooms. Even restrooms in offices (in other words, only employees are using it) seem to remain unflushed for some disgusting reason.

So next time you use the lavatory, try to flush if it isn't too much trouble. It is a simple process. You merely have to push that little handle down. Maybe you were distracted because it's all silver and shiny. Don't get thrown off next time. It's meant to be used. Push down the shiny flush lever and you'll be doing everyone else a favour.

On Movie Remakes

During the non-working hours, people have always engaged in various pastimes. Reading books or listening to radio broadcasts used to be popular. Then more visually stimulating entertainment became necessary for the average person. Television plays a large role in the lives of most people. Surfing the internet has also become a ubiquitous activity. Finally, there are movies.

The cinema has been around since 1895. It has developed considerably over the years, and new technology has allowed for a wider range of possibilities. Nowadays, computer generation allows someone to create practically any image or effect desired. This should allow people to write scripts freely, knowing that anything created on paper can be reproduced on film. Sadly, creativity no longer seems to be a factor when it comes to cinematic productions.

Original scripts and stories seem to be lacking. We are now in the age of movie remakes. Remakes, in general, suck! There may be a handful of remakes that are actually worth watching. But by and large, the original film tends to be better. Remakes take classic films and turn them into garbage. Was there any logic behind remaking Psycho? Why redo The Karate Kid? And don't even get me started on the updated Planet of the Apes!

A whole slough of classic movies are taken and destroyed. Creativity is gone and so people look at things that have already been done. I could understand if the remakes were better. In fact, with newer technology they probably should be. But for whatever reason, they are not.

Every single classic horror film has to be remade, and they constantly turn out worse than the original. A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, The Haunting, et cetera have all been remade for the worse. The Producers, Clash of the Titans, and Willy Wonka have been unnecessarily redone and turned out worse than the originals. Why?

This new trend has gotten way of hand and should be stopped! Hollywood will continue to destroy what was once great, as long as it makes money. Hopefully, if we all stop going to the movies to see remakes, and stop buying the DVDs, the remakes will stop as well. A film that can't earn money won't be made. Let's stop this atrocity from becoming any worse.