On Magnanimity

For some of us there seems to be an inner voice that guides us towards a noble lifestyle. Some may call it a conscience, but regardless of its classification, the main point is that it exists for some percentage of the population. This, in itself, is good in my opinion. Qualities such as chivalry, kind-heartedness, and valor are positive ones.
But there is also a similar quality considered higher: magnanimity. To be magnanimous is to be generous, kind and noble in a forgiving way. In order for this to occur, some wrong must have been inflicted (otherwise there would be nothing to forgive). Many people consider it a great quality, but I hold a different view.
In my opinion, magnanimity is overrated. To understand why I feel this way we should first examine the purpose of being magnanimous.
In essence, magnanimity comes down to showing that you are the bigger person. The whole aim is to demonstrate that you are the better man (or woman). But let us now decide for whom we display this quality. When it comes down to it, there is only oneself and the rest of the world.
I will start with the latter. The rest of the world has shown time and time again that it doesn't really care. You can be the most magnanimous person on the face of the planet and, chances are, it will go unnoticed. So to put on a display to blind eyes is pointless. Therefore, it doesn't pay to be a bigger person for the world's sake.
As true as this may be, you may still wish to do it because you will know. I am not going to criticize things that are done merely to show oneself the nobility within. I will, however, show that the actual action is unnecessary. Before performing an act of magnanimity, some thought is put into it. The person knows that he or she was wronged, and consequently has right to not behave nobly towards the wrongdoer. Nevertheless, he or she will contemplate doing "the right thing" before proceeding.
In my mind, this is where it can end. The fact that such a thought even occurred to you after being treated inappropriately shows that you already are the bigger person. The other individual would never even have considered such a thought. And therefore, in the simple act of thinking about being magnanimous, you have shown yourself that you are in fact the bigger person. No further action is needed.
Remember, being a dove all of the time is not an evolutionarily stable strategy. So don't become a doormat. It is still good to be nice, but not too nice. People that are too nice cross the line at some point, and at that point they are no longer being nice to themselves.

On The Cocooned Existence

The vicissitudes of life, the changes that take place over time, the unexpected events, the variety of experiences-- these things are what make life interesting. These things can breathe life into life. Of course not all changes are good. In fact, less than half of the changes that take place may actually be beneficial. But that is not the point. The true essence of these changes is that they break up the day to day monotony.
Despite this, many people choose to live an unaltered life. Their goal is to avoid changes, never experience something new or unexpected, never travel to a land unknown, and never do anything extreme. These people I pity, and it is them I will discuss.
The first question that should be asked is "Why do these people avoid change?" The answer is simple: comfort. There is some comfort in familiarity. That familiarity can be in a routine, in a particular restaurant or bar, or in a particular favourite vacation spot.
People who avoid change find themselves trapped in a comfort zone. There may be a few small benefits to being locked in a comfort zone. They will never have to worry about going on vacation to a place they will not enjoy (every vacation will be to somewhere previously visited), they will never have to worry about having a bad night due to a dislike of the bar or club (it will be a familiar one), and they will never have to worry about sticking a distasteful food item into their mouths.
Despite these advantages (if you can call them that), I must speak out against the cocooned existence. I label it as such, because it is as if these people wrap themselves in a large cocoon (encompassing all of the places that they know) and never break free to fly around and view the outside world.
As an aside, these people tend to be averse to adventure of any kind. Skydiving, bungee jumping, or even a simple roller coaster seem to be out of the question. The excitement caused by such things is unfamiliar and therefore an anathema. But I digress.
The point I am trying to make is that changes should not be avoided. If anything, they should be sought after. Add some spice and excitement to your life. You might actually enjoy it. Don't be afraid to take the plunge and break free of the precious comfort zone. Tear that cocoon to shreds, give up your hermetic lifestyle and view the world. Break routine, try something completely new, travel to an exotic land, go on an adventure. Break free from your cocoon, use your new wings, and fly! You don't have to know where you are going, for that is the best way to get somewhere you've never been. But go, and go now!

How To Walk: A Guide For Morons

Definition:
Walk- To pass over, on, or through on foot.

This activity seems simple enough. Placing one foot in front of the other is something that the average person achieves at approximately one year of age. And yet despite the lapse of time between age one and adulthood, most people have not mastered the simple act of walking. Of course, given time, most people will eventually be able to reach a destination by foot. But the question is "How much time?"
Nowadays people tend to walk as if they have to think about each and every step. It does not come to them automatically, as it should. It should be mentioned that the word "walk" can also be defined as such: to move or cause to move on foot at a pace slower than a run. Some may disagree with me here, but I don't believe that the word slower should be taken to mean a snail's pace. When someone's foward motion is barely more than a dead standstill I find it to be absurd. That person blocks pedestrian traffic and annoys the hell out of people like me.
But why should I have an issue with such people? The reason is simple. They slow me down. People that move in a sloth-like manner always seem to be in the middle of a path. They never have the courtesy to stand (it seems to be a more accurate description of their motion) to the side.
In the subway stations this problem is out of control. Almost everyone strolls along at a ridiculously slow pace. If they were moving any slower they would be walking backwards. And when it comes to the stairs in the subway it is the same story. The people will stop in front of the same stairs that they see every morning and stare (no pun intended) as if they are witnessing some new phenomenon. A flight of stairs that should be traversed in five seconds takes more than thirty. I am forced to get up earlier and take an earlier train to get to work on time in order to account for these people.
So for those that don't know, I will explain how to walk. Start by placing one foot in front of the other. Then pick up the foot in the rear and place it in front of your other foot. Repeat this process over and over. Once you learn it, it should not be that hard. Practice at home, in the park, or with a friend. But please stay the hell out of my way! I have destinations to reach.

On Drunken Dialing

Every now and again I get roused from my sleep in the middle of the night. The cause for my waking up is not a nightmare, a noise, or a need to relieve myself. It is a moron calling my cell phone.

Every time this happens it is always the same story. The person who called is out drunk somewhere and thinks that the liquor can be used to excuse the fact that it is 3:00 A.M. on a weeknight. This is something I have never understood. I have been drunk many times (at one point in my life I was a fall down drunk), and never have my logical facilities failed me to the point of waking someone up in the middle of the night to say "Hello."

Those of you that know me may say that my brain is different. You may say that although I can still reason after many drinks, other people cannot. I disagree. The proof of his or her reasoning is always revealed immediately. He or she will apologize for waking me up, and then let me know that he or she is drunk and use that as the reason for calling. To me this only proves the culpability of the individual. If someone apologizes for calling so late, then he or she knows that it is something not to be done.

My point is that no matter how much someone may drink, that is no excuse for being disrespectful. People that make these middle of the night calls know damn well what they are doing. It is time that we let them know that we aren't stupid, and stop letting them hide behind the beers they drank. People need to take responsibility for their own actions. Blaming the drinks you had is, of course, an easy way out. But for the future, don't try to pull that stunt with me. I need my sleep!