The Weekly Rant with Gary Patella

Thoughts and ideas on various grievances that are relevant to everyday life.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

On Unseen Television Characters

Back in 1897, Karl Braun invented the cathode ray tube oscilloscope. This paved the way for inventors like Jenkins, Farnsworth, and Zworykin to develop the television. The television has gone through many changes over the years, and many of the individual components used came from a wide variety of sources. In short, it was a collaborative effort and has become one of the most popular forms of entertainment.

Through the years, many shows have come and gone. When looking back, one can see that the storylines and the plots of shows have become a bit more intricate and engaging. Many shows that were big hits a few decades ago now seem rather silly. Shows have matured, developed and grown over the years. Yet not every aspect of the show has grown. One particular trend still remains, and I don't quite understand why.

When writers come up with a new show, there will be two basic elements-- there will be a concept and characters. The characters each have their own personality and habits, and eventually work their way into the hearts of viewers. The various antics displayed by the characters can be quite amusing. The variety of personality types can often be used to drive the plot forward. The characters become the main focus of the show while the actual plot takes a back seat.

But then there are other characters. On many shows over the years there have been characters that have very simplistic personalities. Perhaps only a single trait is ever known. The character falls into a single stereotype and is never developed further. The reason: the character is never seen.

Some may find it rather clever or witty to insert a character into the show that never makes an appearance. I assure you, it is nothing of the sort. Whether we discuss Vera Peterson on Cheers, Maris Crane on Frasier, or Wilson on Home Improvement makes no difference. Vera is Norm's wife, the end. No personality added, yet receives constant mention. Maris Crane in Frasier had some traits mentioned, but still not terribly witty to never see her. Only half of Wilson's face was seen, and he played the role of the wise advice-giver. No other development of the character.

There are many of these characters throughout television history. There is Sparky in M.A.S.H., Peg Bundy's mother in Married...With Children, and Howard Wolowitz's mother in The Big Bang Theory. Many others could be named, but I am not writing to merely construct a list. My point is that leaving a character unseen does not add any wonderful element to a show. Some of the shows that use this device are very good or even excellent programs. Why would even hit shows resort to such gimmicks? It makes no sense.

In some cases, the unseen characters are seen in the final episode. If you need to use such a ploy in order to get viewers to tune in to the final episode, your show probably sucks. If a show is well-written, no great mystery needs to be revealed in the finale. And don't mistake my gripe with the unseen characters. I am not upset out of curiosity. I do not sit restlessly wondering what the character might look like. What upsets me is the pretentious pseudo-intellectual thought process that is responsible for creating an unseen character. It is a writer shouting "Look how clever I am! I can create a character that no one sees."

Well I'm sorry dear writer, but you are not brilliant or clever for coming up with such a concept. Get rid of the gimmick! Who is writing these scripts anyway? Samuel Beckett? I don't get it. So my message is this: when coming up with characters, come up with a full character. Don't simply come up with one trait, add a name, never show the person, and call it a character. And if you must do so, please don't feel like you're now a witty modernist writer. You are not!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Persona Non Grata

Throughout one's life, one will encounter a great many people. While many of these individuals are only seen for a brief period and never again, others will reappear as a result of being a fellow student or coworker, or even someone in the neighborhood. A select few of those that we regularly encounter become friends. Others become mere acquaintances; and yet others fall somewhere in between the two.

When it comes to an acquaintance, there is no prerequisite that one must actually enjoy the other's company. A person that one simply knows from the neighborhood or at work may be, in fact, disliked. This in and of itself is not really a problem. There are many individuals in this world and it is not expected for everyone to like each other. I can certainly say for myself that there are enough people out there that dislike or even despise me. I have similar feelings toward a few people myself. Nevertheless, no issue generally arises out of a mutual repulsion. Both individuals tend to stay out of the other's way.

But what happens when the negative feelings only exist on one side? In most situations this also causes no problem. The person that harbours no ill will can at least detect the hostility emanating from the other. This too will lead to the individuals staying out of each other's way. In a lot of cases, the negative feelings become mutual. But there are some cases that create problems. I will focus on one, in particular.

On occasion, it just so happens that one individual will have some negative feelings toward another that are not reciprocated. Furthermore, the undesirable individual is oblivious to all of the hints to go away. Almost everybody has this situation with someone. It is typically a person with whom you have never been friends, but with whom you are acquainted. The person calls your name, you turn, and suddenly say to yourself "Oh crap!"

These people are clingy to the extreme. And nothing you say can seem to shake them. As a matter of fact, you can say "Oh crap!" out loud when they spot you, and it still doesn't matter. Over time the hints may become more blunt and less subtle. In extreme cases, I have actually said "Please get away from me. I don't like you." Surprisingly, some of these clingers even disregard these comments at a later date. The person may leave at that moment, but when another encounter occurs a month or two later, the individual once again initiates a conversation. This type of behavior leaves me completely and totally dumbfounded. Does this person really not remember what was said a short time ago?

So if you are one of these individuals, please learn to take a hint. When you ask "So when should we hang out?" and I reply "Never," you should understand the meaning. The hints that I throw out aren't exactly cryptic. I don't possess the necessary diplomacy to put such things lightly. If you actually see me trying to avoid you, that is not a sign for you to run after me. In short, get the hell away from me!

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Waiting For The Check

Life comes in a wide variety of forms. There are enormous trees, fungi, and animals on this planet. There are also microscopic life forms which are ubiquitous. Regardless of the actual taxonomic classifications, all life requires energy in order to survive. Most of these life forms have developed metabolic functions. Others, such as viruses, must parasitize other organisms and use metabolic functions already in place.

As humans, we obtain our energy through food consumption. Our intake of oxygen is required for the breakdown of nutrients. In this day and age, our choice of food is great. There are a wide variety of flavours and styles associated with food. Although eating at home is common, most people have the desire to eat at a restaurant from time to time.

There can be various problems associated with the dining experience, and I will not discuss all of these problems at this time. I wish to discuss a problem that I have experienced even when I thought the service to be very good overall. There have been times where I would go to a restaurant, be seated promptly, have an attentive waiter or waitress, and get a terrific meal. However, the dining experience is not finished at this point.

After eating, drinking, and being completely satisfied with everything, I am ready to leave. But suddenly I am held captive. The waiter that was extremely attentive the entire time is suddenly nowhere in sight. My plate is cleaned and my drink is empty. But in order to leave without committing a criminal offense, I must wait for the check.

This annoys me to no end. When the service is terrible the entire way through, I can at least see the pattern. But this inconsistency baffles me. Why would everything be taken care of in such a swift and efficient manner initially only to have the same service disappear at the end? Does the server feel that the job has been completed? It hasn't! Our technology has come a long way, but we have yet to develop a check that will come to my table of its own volition.

I understand that a server does not want customers to feel rushed. But does that mean that a complete disappearing act is the only alternative? The server should be able to socialize after serving. But he or she should still take a quick walk around the tables every ten minutes or so. At least then, the customer can flag that person down. But there are times where everyone is MIA for twenty minutes or more. It is absolutely ridiculous!

So if you are a waiter or waitress, don't consider your checklist complete once your final customer has been served. Remember, we don't live there. Every now and then you have to give people a chance to pay and get out of there.